my life is very bizarre. i have often wondered how it is that i am the way that i am and how i turned out this way. its downright suicidal to pick yourself apart to figure out the nuances of your journey to today, but i feel its time to do so.

i am often frustrated yet amazed at how i can have and maintain such diverse and opposite friends and allies. i feel like saudi arabia who seems to have a lot going for it, yet tries to stay friends with every other country out there, even the one’s who are killing each other; and they do it out of the fear that any one single country will cut off contact with them.

…or of you want to put it into a food analogy…

i’m like the soup that you made when you were a teenager to try and get some rival sick by daring them to eat it. then, even if you never attain that goal, you glorify and celebrate your creation. i have ingredients in me that should NEVER be served together. mustard and caramel. pickles and m&ms. vinegar and marshmallow fluff.

perhaps i should explain.

i grew up in a moderate southern baptist household. but i also was a struggling closeted homosexual. i somehow managed to not reject all things masculine or christian however, which is a popular turnstile.

being extremely musically minded, i somehow learned how to appreciate complete idiot pop as well as uber “i’m cool because i’m different” pop. i started grooming myself as a professional singer at a very early age; probably the same day i learned the concept of “attention”. its not hard to see the correlation. from that point on i let any music i sought out or was exposed to influence me. the funny thing is, i never let it back out. people ask me who are my influences and i always have to give them a two or three sided answer. (i seem to do that with any subject really)